When a mother fills the bath tub twice before 10:30 this is like a crystal ball view of the day. It can only mean that we are going to have one wild and wooly day!
We began our day at 8:00 which is very late for this crew. (Maybe they needed extra sleep for crystal clear mental focus to execute Mission Torture Mom. I am o.k. with this really, really I am. I only carried you both in my belly for many months, threw up most days, and was in labor for more than 24 combined hours. So whatever you want to dish out is fine. Really!)
We started the day with breakfast of blueberry scones and yogurt parfaits. (not bad if I do say so myself). Then Cole began to fuss, then cry followed by wailing. I tried all of my normal tricks which only infuriated him more. It was as if he was saying, "this is what you got?, well I will see your silly attempt at distraction and raise you three octaves and a thrashing fit in the floor. "
Ok. Since we have all had a cold, (I feel like my head is in a vice and I am swimming the depths of the ocean) maybe he is just really tired and ready for an early nap. I put him to bed without much fuss.
"Muhaahaaha", you say " You fell for that one. I bet right when you got Jack settled into playing quietly and you laid down for a few minute rest, he began "Mommmmmmmmmaaaaaaa GeTTTTTT Yooooouuuuu!" This is what I hear every morning interchanged with Mommmmmaaa Kamereeeee (momma come here). Well then you would be right!
So I go to get him and immediately chaos and ninnyness rule! It is raining outside, we have had a lot of inside time so I had a brilliant idea to paint in the garage. This was Cole's first painting experience and much more was on him than on any paper. Then they found the umbrellas and begged to play in the rain. I let them. Experts say this is o.k. Just know that if you are thinking of calling the authorities on me. However, on this day I might have welcomed any authority and a trip to wherever they might have wanted to take me!
We then came inside for a tub. I filled the tub and once again thought, "I can rest for a few minutes. The tub is right beside my bed. So I can hear everything like,when they decide to play "timmmberrrrrr (which means a standing free fall in the tub and their is water two feet out of the tub and four feet up the walls.)
So I lay down and what do I hear," Ohhh nooo Moooooommmmm, Cole has pooped in the tub AGAIN! " I say, "please Lord, let it just be a poop shaped toy!" The prayers I have prayed with children! Such as, " Lord please help me to not hurt them if I trip over another ball while I cook! or "Dear Lord, please let me sleep past 7:00 just this once, or please let that absolute eerie silence mean that they are playing sweetly and not unconscious! Ohh, we know Our God has a big sense of humor!
So, I get the kids out of the tub and grab two plastic bags (you don't want directions on how to best get poop out of a tub while two naked cold children wait with out one ounce of patience... too bad) and grab the Lysol spray cleaner with bleach. All contaminated toys go to the sink with hot water and good spray of bleach cleaner. The children sit on a towel with uncontaminated toys. Take first sack and wrap around your hand, pick up poop and put it bag into the other plastic bag and tie up the mess. Drain tub and begin spraying bleach over every surface that stands still. I start singing songs because this seems to keep the wild beasts temporarily entertained. I refill the tub and let them play until there is not any unwrinkled parts or they begin to complain of hypothermia.
I get them out of the tub and dress them both in pajamas. Yes, it is only noon but with the way this day is going, it is good for the mind to see them ready for bed- even if it is only a mere 8 hours away. After pajamas, there was more crying, a lot of wrestling, more crying, incesent talk of football, scores, teams, injury reports, players,yards, positions,unanswerable questions,plenty of complaints and the general spirit of a postal worker at christmas time! We filled the day with eating, movies, a much needed nap and a lot of playroom time! It is good to remember that even if a day starts off this bad it will always at least still end with everyone asleep!
